misconception

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Two of the most common questions I see about yanderes are "Why would anyone like them?" and "Won't you just wind up being murdered or something?" I can understand where this mentality comes from. In the minds of most people who are vaguely familiar with the term "yandere," the only trait of a yandere is that they're apparently bloodthirsty. This is no surprise, since one character murdering another has more shock value and, as a result, a longer lasting impression on anyone who views that scene. Another reason that people only think of violence and bloodshed when they read "yandere" is that it's easier to define someone based on their actions, which you can see with your own eyes, rather than their inner emotions and thought processes, which sometimes aren't explored at all.

It seems to be easy for most people to forget all about the "dere" part of the term, and in order to clear up the confusion surrounding the two questions above, I'm here to remind you of it. In real life, obsessive lovers can be reasoned with - this is reason number one why you shouldn't expect a yandere to murder their significant other, herein referred to as SO for convenience's sake. The yandere can almost certainly be talked out of it by their SO; if the yandere in question is willing to listen to anyone, it's the target of their affection.

In addition, there are only two situations (that aren't so rare that they're outliers) in which someone could have a yandere SO who wanted to kill them badly enough to act on those thoughts in the first place. The first is that the person in the relationship (for convenience's sake, let's call them P1) messed up on an astronomical scale. P1 went out with someone, knowing full well that they're a yandere, and yet P1 decided to do something unforgivable, such as cheat on their yandere partner (herein referred to as P2 for convenience's sake).

The second situation is that P2 simply wants to kill P1 by default, regardless of whether or not P1 does anything wrong. Despite what non-yanderes (or "nonderes") may think, this is actually very uncommon among yanderes, as explained in detail in this blog's first yandere misconception post. All of the reasons explained in that post do a satisfactory job of explaining why P2 - an average person who considers themself a yandere in real life - won't want to kill P1 - their SO - but there's even more to it than all the reasons explored in that post. Yet another reason is that we don't live in a fantasy world in which our actions have no consequences.

This is something that nearly everyone on Earth understands. Even the vast majority of people who are mentally ill are able to recognize that if you place your hand in a fire, you'll be burned. Murdering isn't all that different, in that regard. People recognize that they would most likely be imprisoned for life or be executed if they were to commit murder, so they don't murder anyone. And although some people who think of themself as a yandere like to boast about how they'd kill people under certain circumstances, at the end of the day, these are virtually always the words of teenagers on the internet who are acting out for attention - not something to be taken seriously. This is yet another reason to add to the pile which explains why it's unreasonable to expect P2 to murder P1.

If you need to see even more reasons why that "don't yanderes kill their SO?" line of thinking is incorrect, I encourage you to look back on the first yandere misconception post, linked here. Finally, to address the "Why would anyone like a yandere?" question, here's a list of reasons which don't even account for nondere reasons, such as "I think this specific person (who happens to be a yandere) is physically attractive."

1: To be with someone who's all but guaranteed not to cheat on you.
2: For some people, being on the receiving end of obsessive love feels wonderful. Knowing that someone loves you that intensely can feel fulfilling.
3: For other yanderes, one reason is to be with someone who can love them back just as much as they love their SO.
4: Some people just want someone to take care of or support, and who better than someone who needs to be loved as desperately as a yandere does?
5: Some people would like to have an SO who loves them unconditionally, or nearly unconditionally. A yandere is one of the only types of people who's capable of meeting that need.

Is there something I haven't considered about this topic? Would you like to offer a correction? Got an idea for another yandere subject you'd like to read about? Whatever the reason, feel free to leave a comment below!

A yandere misconception.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

A month ago today, I saw a particular yandere image for at least the tenth time. Normally I don't mind seeing the same picture so many times, shared by so many different people - the problem was that the message in it was completely wrong, and I'm not a big fan of incorrect information being upheld and repeated as fact. I'd never seen anyone challenge it, and thanks to having an abundance of free time on that occasion and realizing that nobody else was going to point out all the problems with it, that was the time I finally decided to do so myself. What follows is that image, my explanation which debunks it, and a more reasonable, alternate image that could be used instead.

Whoops! This image mistakenly implies that it’s unreasonable to not want a yandere like Yuno to kill someone after they become that yandere’s boyfriend or girlfriend. To better understand why this image is fundamentally flawed, you first need to know which type of yandere is being discussed, and how different types of yandere’s minds work.

Virtually every yandere character can be broken down into one of two groups (if there’s enough canon information available about them): obsessive or possessive. An obsessive yandere’s goal is typically to be in a relationship with or win the affection of a specific person. This is the most common type of yandere, and this category encompasses such yanderes as Gasai Yuno, Esdeath, and Sakuma Mayu.

A possessive yandere’s goal is simply to be with the object of their affection - whether their target lives or dies is irrelevant to them, as long as the two of them are together. A possessive yandere usually thinks of their target as something like an object to be owned, even if it means owning their corpse as a way to “be with them forever.” Depending on how circumstances change, an obsessive yandere can turn into a possessive yandere, and vice versa. An example of this is Sengoku Nadeko.

This is another problem that makes the above image wrong, in addition to obsessive yanderes being the standard form of yandere. If a person says that they want a yandere girlfriend, then they’re unlikely to put that yandere girlfriend through a traumatic experience, such as telling her that they’ll never love her. Thus, she'll never become a possessive yandere and they'll never give her a reason to kill them. That person would know the risks that come with having a yandere girlfriend and do their best to keep her happy, because they would love her and would want to avoid being killed or harmed.

Yet another reason why this image is incorrect is because of the character that was used for it. If the yandere girlfriend in question was the fictional character in this image, it makes no sense to imply that everyone should expect her to try to kill the person she loves at the drop of a hat. She risked death an incredible number of times to save the life of the person she loved. That alone is undeniable proof of her desire to keep him alive, not kill him, but there’s even more to it than that.

There are major mirai nikki spoilers in the following two paragraphs. Ignore these next two paragraphs if you don’t want to see any spoilers.

For those who say, “But she tried to kill him (for a very short time)!” you’re forgetting or ignoring the context of the image. In the image, all that’s presumed is that someone wants a yandere girlfriend, not to participate in the survival game with Yuno. Since that person would never have to go through the survival game with her, they would never have to go through that brief time where she tried attacking the person she loved in order to save the universe, so that’s out.

Next, for those who say, “But she tricked Yukki into killing himself in the first world!” again, you're either forgetting or choosing to ignore her intention. As is made clear in the story: it was for the purpose of saving the universe and bringing him back to life. She did it because she thought it was her only option to keep him alive. And ultimately, she intentionally killed herself so that he could live in the world he belonged in, knowing it meant that she’d die and, as such, never see him again.

This is obviously someone who is extremely, selflessly devoted to the survival of the person she loves, as the vast majority of yanderes are. It’s no wonder she’s indisputably the most well-known yandere character there is. So if you really want to spread the truth about how most yanderes act, this image should be changed to...